Why I Left Bedside Nursing (And What I Wish I’d Known Sooner)

I’ve written a lot on this blog about how to know if you should leave bedside nursing. This post is different. It’s my story on why I left bedside nursing. Not the polished version where I had a five-year plan, knew exactly what I wanted, and confidently walked away from the bedside because I knew something better was waiting for me.

That was not my experience.

I was tired. I was scared. I had a lot of reasons to stay, and for a long time, I didn’t even know if leaving bedside nursing was something I was supposed to do. I just knew I couldn’t keep going on the way I was going.

The Season That Made All The Difference

There was a time when I was working four 12-hour night shifts in a row, running on three
or four hours of sleep between shifts, and then trying to come home and still be a mom and
take care of everything else that comes with having a family.

If you’ve worked nights, you know that kind of exhaustion is different. You finish your shift in
the morning, drive home while the rest of the world is starting its day, and then try to sleep
enough to do it all over again that night.

Then there was the evening my daughter cried inconsolably because I was leaving for work
right around her bedtime. I was already exhausted and frustrated, and as I drove to work, I cried too. I remember feeling so sad and thinking, “This can’t be how her childhood goes.”

Then there was time I was driving home from work one morning and I fell asleep at a red light. I literally fell asleep. I only woke up to a car horn behind me, disoriented for a moment before I even realized where I was.

Those moments didn’t immediately make me decide to leave bedside nursing. I didn’t suddenly know what job I wanted or how I was going to make a change. But they made it harder for me to ignore
how exhausted I really was and how much I was missing home.

Looking back, I think that was an important part of the process. I wanted God to show me
the whole path, but Scripture tells us that we “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians
5:7). I couldn’t see the whole path. I could only acknowledge that I wasn’t doing well and
started asking God what I should do about it.

I Thought I’d Never Leave the Bedside

The surprising thing is that leaving bedside nursing had never crossed my mind before
this season. I’d been in healthcare for almost 20 years by this point, first as a tech, then as a nurse. During my career I watched nurses retire after 30 or 40 years at the bedside, and I assumed that
would be me. Bedside nursing felt secure. I had overtime when I needed it, opportunities for advancement, raises that came with seniority, and in 2020, it proved to be pandemic resistant.

I had spent years building my career, and I didn’t think there was anything outside the hospital that would make sense for me.

The first time I seriously thought about leaving was during maternity leave. But then I quickly talked
myself out of it. I didn’t know how the finances would work, I couldn’t picture how we would manage childcare around a different kind of schedule, and I didn’t think I would be able to find a remote nursing position that paid anywhere close to what I was making on nights at the bedside.

So, I went back to work.

I didn’t leave, but something had changed. I started volunteering for trainings and educational opportunities that took me away from the unit. I worked on unit counsel that gave me time away from the bedside. Looking back, I can see that I was becoming curious about what else might be possible, even though I wasn’t actively looking for another job yet.

Why I Was Scared to Leave

This is where why I left bedside nursing gets complicated. Once leaving started to feel like a real possibility, I found plenty of reasons to stay.

My coworkers were a big one. I had a group of nurses and techs who had started around the
same time I did. We had worked together for years and had become close. They were my
work besties, and the thought of leaving them was really hard.

I was also scared of starting over.

I was the charge nurse people came to. I was a preceptor training new nurses. I collaborated
with management and had spent years becoming the nurse who felt comfortably in what she was doing. I had my routine. The thought of stepping into a completely new role, where I would be the one asking questions instead of answering them, genuinely scared me.

And then there was money.

I had a young child at home, nine years of seniority, and a yearly raise built into my position. I wasn’t willing to take a significant pay cut just to get away from the bedside. That was a real concern, and it wasn’t something I could just pray away.

I think sometimes we can make career decisions harder than they need to be because we feel like trusting God means ignoring practical concerns. But God cares about our families, our responsibilities, our finances, and the decisions we’re making.

I needed to bring all of those concerns to Him instead of letting fear make the decision for me. I didn’t understand what my path was going to look like. But I could start asking Him to direct it. Psalm 25 became a prayer I came back to again and again, asking God to show me His ways, teach me His path, and guide me in truth, resting my hope in Him instead of settling in fear.

When Surviving Wasn’t Enough Anymore

There were shifts when I came home in the morning and cried in shower because I knew I had two more nights in my stretch to go. For a long time, my prayer was simply, “God, get me through this shift.” And He did, shift after shift.

But eventually, that prayer began to change. I started asking, “God, show me what else I can do.”

I wasn’t just asking God to help me survive another 12-hour shift. I was asking Him to show me what might be possible beyond the bedside. I knew remote nursing jobs existed, but I honestly didn’t think I would be able to find one that matched what I was making at the bedside and give me the flexibility I needed for my family.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and He will act.

psalm 37:5

Eventually, I got to a place where I could honestly tell God, “I don’t know how You’re going to do this, but I’m leaving it in Your hands.” I didn’t have the answer, but I just stopped believing that I needed it before I could trust Him.

The Email That Changed What I Thought Was Possible

Not long after that prayer, a former coworker emailed me. She had transferred into the call center department, and when a fully remote nursing position opened up, she thought of me.

I went through the interview process and was I hired. I initially thought it might be what I was looking for. But as I learned more about the position, I realized it wasn’t the right fit. It required being on the phone for the majority of every shift, and it was a very part-time role (20 hours a pay period), which meant asking my family to take a financial step backward I wasn’t willing to take.

So, I turned it down.

But that opportunity still changed something in me. It proved that remote nursing positions were actually out there. More importantly, it gave me the confidence to keep exploring what might be possible for me.

Someone I barely spoke to anymore still thought of me when a remote nursing position opened up. Looking back, I believe that email was a God-sent moment. Not because that particular job was the answer. It wasn’t. But it opened my eyes to what was possible and gave me a reason to keep searching.

Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” A lamp doesn’t light up the entire road. It gives you enough light for the next step. That was where I was. I didn’t know exactly where I was going, but I could finally see that there were possibilities beyond the bedside.

Learning to Be Thankful While I Waited

While I was looking for something different, I also tried hard to stay thankful for the job I still
had.

That wasn’t always easy, but it helped to remember that I actually loved bedside nursing. It’s a wonderful place to start a nursing career, and I don’t think you can land most remote nursing roles without bedside experience. Bedside gave me the foundation for everything that came after. It just no longer fit the season of life I was in once I became a mom.

There were plenty of shifts when I would think, “I really don’t want to be here anymore.” But I didn’t want to spend that entire season complaining about a job God had provided while simultaneously asking Him to provide something different.

I wanted to learn how to be thankful while I waited, even for a season I already knew I’d eventually leave. Romans 12:12 became especially meaningful to me during that season. It calls us to rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, and remain faithful in prayer.

I needed all three.

I needed hope because I didn’t know how the story was going to end. I needed patience because I wanted an answer immediately. And I needed prayer because there were plenty of days when I had no idea what else to do.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I also kept coming back to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, which reminds us to rejoice always, pray
continually, and give thanks in all circumstances. It doesn’t say every circumstance is good, but it does tell us to give thanks no matter what we go through.

I was also navigating some lingering postpartum anxiety during this season, and I knew my emotions weren’t always something I could completely trust. My feelings were real, but I didn’t want them to be the only thing directing my decisions. I needed to anchor myself in God’s Word while also paying attention to what my exhaustion was telling me.

Where I Am Now Since I Left Bedside Nursing

Eventually, I did find a remote nursing position that worked for me.

Today, I work as a nurse navigator, and I can honestly say that this position has given me many of the things I was hoping for when I started looking beyond the bedside. I have the flexibility to take time off when I need it or when I simply want to be there for something important in my family’s life. I’m making just as much as I was making working nights at the bedside, which was one of my biggest concerns when I started considering a change. And I still get to make a real difference in patients’ lives without providing direct patient care.

It wasn’t an overnight fix, and it wasn’t because I suddenly figured everything out. I started looking before I was completely ready to leave. I asked questions before I had a plan. I prayed before I knew what the answer would be.

Most importantly, I learned that exploring your options doesn’t mean you’ve committed to
leaving.

What I Wish I’d Known Sooner

• You don’t need a plan before you start looking. You just need to start.
• Bedside experience isn’t something to leave behind, it’s what makes most remote roles possible in the first place.
• Exploring your options is not the same as committing to leave.
• You can trust God with your finances and your family and still ask hard, practical questions.
• Rest and prayer aren’t stalling. They’re part of the process.

If you’re a nurse who is exhausted and wondering whether bedside nursing is still where you’re supposed to be, you don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to resign tomorrow, and you don’t have to know exactly what your next job will be.

You can start by getting curious. Look at your finances. Talk to nurses who have made the transition. Research remote nursing positions. Pray about what you’re moving toward, not just what you’re trying to escape.

You may discover that you need rest and boundaries before you need a new job. You may realize you’re ready to prepare for a change. Or you may find that it really is time to take the next step away from bedside nursing.

You don’t have to know the entire path before taking the next step.

If you’re not sure where you are right now, take the Are You Ready to Leave the Bedside?
quiz. It was created for the nurse who is tired, unsure, and trying to figure out whether she
should stay, prepare, or move toward leaving bedside nursing.

You don’t have to figure all of this out today. Start with the next step, bring it to God, and trust
Him with the rest.